Weekend: Boozetastic Birthday

Jen and I meet up for dinner at the new Calypso Cafe in East Nashville. Despite feeling that I wasn’t nearly hip enough to be there (seriously, Eastside, what’s WITH your hair?), I thoroughly enjoyed my beans & three and the company of The Jen. After dinner, we hit the beauty supply and had the intention to swing by Naughty By Nature to peruse their selection of leather, studded things. Sadly, Naughty By Nature closed down, so we went to the Jenna’s Toy Box next door.

Hav you ever seen someone smoking meth or crack on tv and thought, “where does one even GET a crack pipe?” Well, Jenna’s Toy Box sells them. I’m not talking about “tobacco” pipes. I’m talking about glass tubes with glass bulbs on the end. Craaaaack pipe. Since Jen and I have a disturbing tendency to end up at a porn store after eating dinner, we’ve decided that we’re going to do a photo series where we’re standing in front of various porn stores…preferably eating ice cream cones.

Pizza and Peeps (marshmallow and human) at Mark’s house, followed by the weekly Krogering. I don’t know what I was doing last week, but somehow almost none of the food that I bought got eaten. Thus, this week’s Kroger trip resulted in the purchase of cereal, pickles, and 3 boxes of sugar-free Jello.

Looked at 4.5 houses. The first one was the home of some renter who apparently hadn’t been notified that we were coming, and he was pissed. I figured that he was pissed because the house was filthy or something, but no. He was pissed because something illegal was probably going on in there. Why? There were four pitbulls (all of whom were separated from each other with cages) and a strong smell of air freshener. You and I both now that there are only 2 reasons that a single guy would own/use air freshener, and…well, I didn’t smell poo. Needless to say, that was not exactly the best showcase for that house. Scary.

There were a couple more typically sketchy houses, one that may have been cute (I couldn’t concentrate because the alarm was going off the whole time), and one that we couldn’t get into. We’re going to go back on Tuesday and see those again. Yes, readers, I feel kind of stupid for continuing to look at houses given the situation at work. But I was able to make my current rent back when I was broke from working at Vandy. I swear, it’ll be OK…and if it’s not OK, I can always do more freelancing or something. Or go work at Starbucks.

Saturday night, it was back to Calypso for Jen’s birthday dinner and then to Red Door for drinks. Well, there was a slight detour to Rivergate to go to Zen. We arrived there to be told that we needed to “go home and spruce up” because half of us were violating the dress code (t-shirts, hoodies, sneakers). Excuse me? Your bar is in RIVERGATE. Well, ok, says the manager as we were walking away, you can come in. We just need to look through your purse and frisk you. Excuse me? Your bar is in RIVERGATE. I didn’t want to be The Bitch Who Ruins It For Everyone, so I was going to go ahead and let Giant Sweatpants Lesbian frisk me. Oh, but wait! There’s a 10-dollar cover. What?

That was pretty much it. Manager Guy said that we wouldn’t have to pay the cover when we all started walking away, but by that time we were all feeling very “fuck you” about the whole thing. “You know what? I no longer want to give these people my money. Fuck this.” So, we went to Red Door and had a lovely time.

Washed all of the bed linens and then headed out to 80’s goth night for dancing and watching Jen fully enjoy her new 21-ness. It was pretty much the usual, and you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Fang Guy dance to “When Doves Cry” with no sense of irony.

Weekend: Tenno, Snow, Heston Show

It’s becoming clear that I’m going to have to start counting Thursday as part of the weekend, since this is the day that Jen and I usually meet for dinner. We met up at Tenno for vegetable hibachi (sooooo good) and then hit Maggie Moo’s. I got the cheesecake ice cream with strawberries (awesome) and Jen got the red velvet cake flavor (also awesome). My company needs to land the Maggie Moo account so we can all get some kind of gift card that entitles us to free moo for life. OK, maybe that wouldn’t be such a good thing. Which reminds me…

Headed up to Rivergate to eat pizza and hang out with Mark. Sadly, the visit was cut a bit short when I looked outside at 10:00 and saw 2 inches of snow. “Holy crap….I gotta go.” I’ve done such a good job of not smashing my car into things, and I’d hate to spoil it now. I almost didn’t even get away from his house, as (surprise!) a PT Cruiser is not exactly a good snow vehicle. I took I65 home, in some retarded hope that the highway would be a little better than Gallatin Rd. Not so much. I still had to do 20 mph all the way home, while having the shit scared out of me by truckers doing 50. Honestly, dicks. You’ve got 4 lanes. Do you REALLY need to pick the one right next to me? Anyway, I got home OK and only had trouble at the last stop sign before my house, where I slid to a 45 degree angle. Sweet.

Went over to jrob’s for pasta, bread, salad and the watching of Soylent Green. Somehow, I’d lived to be 30 without seeing it. Bad American! Dinner was tasty (and guilt-inducingly plentiful) and Soylent Green was good. I question the feasibility of The Scoopers, but hey.

Pretty much stayed inside all day sitting on my ass. In some attempt to make up for eating like a lumberjack for 3 days, I got in some treadmill time and had a big bowl o’ veggies for dinner. Tip: balsamic spray dressing works really well with raw broccoli because of all the little crannies in said broccoli. Just take a Beano first, as raw broccoli, like Wu Tang, ain’t nothin’ to fuck wit. You should only attempt it if you’re sure that you’ll be alone for the rest of the night, if you catch my drift.

I didn’t do goth night this week because I needed a week off and I felt like I should have my wits about me today. In order to make some extra cash for house stuff, I’m doing some light production work for my former employers. Talk about some kismet: I was looking on Craigslist for freelance work, and they just happened to IM me. Sweet!

Weekend: 2 Days Without A Timesheet

We have a new project tracking system at work. We have been notified that we should be keeping our hours daily, listing what we’re working on. This is rough for me, as I don’t have much to do. It adds up to lying, wanking, and shopping on ebay…I haven’t wanted to design in months…that’s a long story.

Went to jrob’s for a night of movies (Air Guitar Nation, King of Kong) and Rock Band. OK, so the Rock Banding didn’t last very long because the people who were still around by that time were pretty trashed, but hey. Drunk Rock Band is pretty funny, and you can sing real loud and know that no one in the room will remember how tone-deaf you were. A good time was had.

Went up to Rivergate to hang out with Mark. This week consisted of the garden fajitas at Las Cebollas and the usual mini-marathon of reality tv. The fajitas were kick-ass and markedly less evil than the taco salad that I refer to as “the giant taco.” After eating trail mix and pizza the day before, I felt like I should try to keep it non-evil on Saturday. Mark and I are weeks behind on Top Model, but Project Runway and Bad Girls Club are almost over, so we’ll catch up quickly. Oh, and did you know that collagen fright Daisy from Rock Of Love used to play bass in Seraphim Shock? Vraiment! See?

From the Seraphim Shock site

From VH-1.com

From her stint on The Muppet Show

Props to Jen and Seven Sect Kevin for pointing this out, as the only member of Seraphim Shock that I could pick out of a lineup is the singer guy because of his disturbing pecs. Yeah, I know. He’s a really nice guy. I know. I just think he kind of looks like a date rapist.

Did brunch with Katy, a drive-by on a couple of houses, and then went home and watched some shows from PBS about Appalachia. They were really good, and helped me see eastern Kentucky as something other than the armpit of America. It really is kind of rich in musical culture, and really is kind of pretty if you’re into that “nature” stuff. It’s also most unfortunate that the beauty of the area is slowly being taken away by people destroying the land to mine coal, and that a lot of the people there are still broke and feeling the effects of the bad news that occurred there after World War II. The story of Appalachia is pretty cautionary, because it reads like this: people lived there for a long time and pretty much did their own thing…until someone realized that there was coal there. Then, much like Native Americans, the people were painted as stupid savages, devalued, and slowly pushed off their land and into poverty. Charming, no?

I also helped explain almost my big, round head. Yeah, half of me comes from the English, but that half doesn’t show much. What does show is German, Scottish, and Cherokee…the three main groups that lived in Appalachia back in the day. The show also explained the weird chant singing that they do there (ask me to do some for you, as I can’t properly describe it in words), and why Bluegrass music sounds so much like Irish music. The Scottish people who came over came by way of Ireland…fiddles were small enough to bring to the new world…you do the math. It was a good show, and it reminded me that I shouldn’t talk so much smack about eastern Kentucky. Even if they really do have nothing but Denny’s and cemeteries there.

Later, I headed out to goth night and, now that my respiratory system is functioning properly, busted out one of the new corsets. Luckily, my concerns about possible wardrobe malfunctions remained unfounded and the girls stayed where they were supposed to, even through dancing. I still put Jen on nipwatch, though. “Your job tonight is to let me know if anything works its way out.”