Weekend: The Nerve, The Brain, The Heart

Took the day off work to chill and meet up with the house inspector. Those of you who read the previous post pretty much know how that turned out. For those of you who didn’t: yadda yadda yadda, the deal’s off. It’s too much work, and the seller’s previous behavior tells me that they will be willing to half-ass work if they think that they won’t get caught. I don’t need that crap. I can change a boob light or two, but I can’t fix the slope of a backyard. Did I mention that Metro Water went out there and also used the phrase “run like hell?” Cause they did. It’s time to move on to another house that may not be as sexy-looking but might actually be…you know…not rotting. It’s all about how you look at things like a bath fitter as opposed to a tiled shower: as long as you keep the price of the house down, you can get that tile custom-done. It’s just hard to keep the nerve to keep trying. We put together an offer on House 2, but we’re waiting for a disclosure statement before submitting an offer. Meanwhile, the seller from House 1 keeps trying to make me feel better. Oh we’re going to have a roofer come out and check the roof, we’re going to fix the moisture, blah blah blah. Whatever.

For a couple of days, I thought maybe I had this worked out. I thought maybe it would be time to think about all of the other stuff that’s been on hold. Work issues, boy issues, friend issues. I was able to point my brain in the direction of finding a place to go once I get laid off in December. I was able to send out emails to try and prove that my brain is enough. There have been no responses. This does not make for an untroubled mind.

While dealing with house drama (which is becoming the story of my life, btw), I headed over to Fierce to witness and document Jen’s new haircut. She manned up and got a Deathhawk, and it is most triumphant. There will be pix and a more thorough post soon, but for now you has to take my word for it. Afterward, we hit the beauty supply for teasing combs and Target for…well, whatever. “Whatever” in this case meaning “rogering the h.i.p. and Rimmel sections of the makeup department.” My mood sort of crashed after that and I went home to take a nap and regroup.

Got up to meet Real estate Lady at Starbucks to go over the house inspection and lick some wounds. “I just can’t do it. SO much would have to be done to make me feel good about this. I just can’t do it.” It’s too bad, but a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do. If they’re not willing to rebuild 1/3 of that house, I’m not willing to buy it. Sorry, dudes.

After that, I wandered around Opry Mills for a while and then hung out with jrob. This whole situation requires a stronger heart than mine, as my whole gut feeling is “do not trust this person.” I have forgiven stuff that happened in the past, but forgetting it would make me a damn fool. Trust can be earned back, but the other person has to want to make that happen and make an earnest and prolonged attempt. I don’t feel like this is going to happen, and I don’t feel like I deserve to be treated like a fixer-upper. I can go find someone who will be consistently nice to me. If I can’t find that person? Screw it. I have a cat and a PlayStation, and I can honestly say that I just don’t get excited about the idea of boys anymore. This isn’t to say that I’m becoming a lesbian, this is to say that I just don’t care. I don’t have the heart for it, and all of my heart’s strength is tied up in having to deal with house sellers who are bullshitting me and employers who wish that I would just go away. There’s just no more strength left after dealing with those things. Maybe, eventually, I’ll get the nerve and the brain worked out and be able to deal with the heart. Today is not that day.

No place like home,

Weekend: Sweeney, Sours, Strange House.

The usual hang out with Mark ritual, this time with China Bell. I think it’s time for me to break up with Rivergate’s China Bell. The last few times we’ve gotten food from there, it’s been heavy on grease and light on taste. Sad, really. The mixed vegetable used to be so good.

Having left my laptop at work, I wasn’t able to do the “get up and wank around playing computer games” ritual of Saturday morning. This was completely intentional, though, as I had some tiny cartoon pants to do which required my to go to the office so I wouldn’t just end up napping. Thus, I took a giant walk which ended up being about 6 miles and taking for EVER. It was nice, but I shan’t be doing this again. After the giant walk, I took a shower and went in to the office to finish my tiny cartoon pants. After that, I went to East Nashville to grab a sammich and wait for Jen to be done hanging out with her family.

I have learned that the Subway on Gallatin Rd is perhaps the saddest place on earth. The were down to only white or wheat bread, they had no pepperjack cheese, and the drink fridge was empty, save for one old bottle of milk. Some dude even tried to panhandle me INSIDE the store, clearly not knowing the look of “I’m so hungry I might shiv you” Amy. On a related note, I was recently asked for a dollar by some random teenage girl in Dillard’s. “Hey, you got a dollar?” “Yeah, but not for you.” Don’t fuck with me, princess. I used to live off West End. I am impervious to your guilt trips, and I have been panhandled by people WAY more pathetic than you. Anyway, I went to Portland Brew to chill and eat my sammich, and then Jen called. She, Elias and I ate dip, had amaretto sours, and watched Sweeney Todd, and fun was had by all. Most triumphant.

I pick up jrob and we go to house #1 to meet Real Estate Lady. The house is renovated and decent, but I didn’t like it as much as another house that I’d seen and not made an offer on. Then we looked at house #2, which was more like 2 houses glued together by a pantry. It was comedic, sad, and too much work. After, jrob and I hit Mitchell’s Deli and watched…Sweeney Todd. Hey, I was totally up for watching it again. It’s good eatin’. Later, we made a trek into Nashville for season 1 of Hell’s Kitchen. Jonathan has finally seen the HK light, and has grown to love Gordon Ramsay’s for calling people donkeys and telling them to fuck off. Ha ha! You like a Fox reality show! You’re eating maggots, Michael! How do they taste?

Today, I emailed Real Estate Lady to say that I wasn’t feeling House #1…but I had reconsidered the house from 3 weeks ago. If it’s still on the market, I have made an offer that I’m comfy with…which involves making the sellers give me 1000 bucks to finish the renovation that they didn’t finish. You know, door knobs and such. will they go for it? Who knows. But I’m feeling very Ice-T today. I like the house enough now to appreciate the niceness of it, but I’m dispassionate enough to be able to drive a decent bargain. The house has been on the market since December, so the seller will either now be very open to negotiation or the seller is been a non-compromising hard-ass. Either way, I’m ok with it. So there. You people will not out hard-ass me today; I’m feeling very Ice-T.

Weekend: Strange & Unusual

Took a half day of vacation so as to finally go and get my driver’s license renewed, after driving on an expired one for 4 months. Since I turned old in November, I had to go to the DMV and get a new picture taken. Hence the stalling. The picture took 2 tries, but came out fairly decently, and I ran into Eric.

As part of the half-day festivities, I left work early and went to Performance to replenish the makeup stash and get some blue and some clown white to mix for a photo shoot of corpsey goodness. I didn’t forget about the Valentine in a Vacuum shoot…I’m just stalling until I’m in my new place. It occurred to me that, in my current place, there’s nowhere to take pictures because I’m on top of myself all the damn time. I can’t take a picture without there being a stack of dish towels in the background or something. Lame. Anywho, after spending 30 bucks at Performance (I also stocked up on the life blood of lacy gloves), I went up to Rivergate for Chinese foodz and reality tv with Mark. I felt crazy, so I got the “broccoli with garlic sauce” that I’d never had. I don’t think that was garlic sauce. It was more like the sauce that they put on General Tso’s Chicken, so I called it “broccoli with happy accident.”

Hooked up with my kick-ass real estate lady to look at my top 5. The verdicts:

  1. 6-foot ceilings are cute, but not when your bed is 6.5 feet tall. I may be a pocket person, but I’m a pocket person with a taste for giant, imposing Victorian furniture. Next!
  2. Cute, lots of space, basement (!), but I’m troubled by the lack of closet space. This would be a recurring trend, as most of the houses in East Nashville are old and old houses have small closets. This was my front-runner until #4.
  3. HUGE, but with a very WTF kind of flow. Or lack of flow, as it were. One day, somebody’s gonna put some money into this house and it will be completely kick-ass. However, the possible drug deal going on next door and the FOUR exterior doors (two of which were in bedrooms) say that the renovating person won’t be me.
  4. The front-runner. It’s not very cute from the outside, but some shrubs and the ability to add a big front porch later could change that. The inside has new hardwoods, new a/c, lighting fixtures that say “we enjoy ornate metal” (so do I, not surprisingly), and a tub with black & white checkered tile. I described the bathroom as “gothtastic.” There’s the usual lack of closet space, but the bedroom’s big enough to accommodate an armoire. There’s also no dishwasher, but there’s a place where one could easily be added later. Also, a 2-car garage. I hadn’t really thought about a garage, but once I did, I realized that it would be nice to have for the “you don’t know if I’m home or not” factor. Also…it would be good space for photo shoots (natural light, area for mess-making). The would-be sewing room has a door (to make it a no-puss zone), and the living room is big enough to accommodate a giant wall unit and/or huge “single dude tv.” There’s also a vaulted ceiling, which looks to me like a big black canvas. I’m thinking 3 or 4 big, tall paintings…something involving Alice in Wonderland. Oh, and the wood trim and doors are stained cherry, which will jive well with my furniture and the dark jewel tones that I plan to put on the walls. The kitchen is more of a tiny afterthought, but I don’t really cook anyway and a giant kitchen is just an invitation to funk. If you only have a little counter space, you have to keep it clean. Also, the fridge has “water in the door,” which has been a secret dream of mine since childhood. This place isn’t as big as some of the others, but bigger places sometimes just mean that you have more space to keep clean. Besides, the bigger places often had bedroom so small that I wouldn’t be able to fit an armoire in them…what would I do for clothes space?
  5. Smelled like old ladies, had vertical blinds that were white on one side and METALLIC GOLD on the other, jacked-up carpet, jacked-up fence, basement and loft area both looked like places to kill people. Brilliant as comedy, not so much as an actual place to live.

After going home and trying to take a nap (unsuccessfully because I was picturing my stuff in house #4), I headed out to see Beetlejuice. Wheee, Beetlejuice!

Got up and immediately started the ritual: got 24oz coffee at TigerMart, went in to the office to make tiny cartoon pants for 5 hours.  After that, I went home and made a scale drawing of house #4 in Illustrator, then placed virtual furniture in it, then placed fantasy furniture in it. I’ll look at the house once more to measure and make sure that the bedroom really can handle an armoire as long as 7 feet, but my drawing says yes. Someday, someway, I WILL have one of those giant fuckoff armoires with cherubs and lions and shit carved into it. The dream is real.

As a result of the working/drawing, I didn’t make it out to goth night. I was worn out and knew that I had a long week ahead of me. One should not start such a week on 4 hours’ sleep.

Weekend: Tenno, Snow, Heston Show

It’s becoming clear that I’m going to have to start counting Thursday as part of the weekend, since this is the day that Jen and I usually meet for dinner. We met up at Tenno for vegetable hibachi (sooooo good) and then hit Maggie Moo’s. I got the cheesecake ice cream with strawberries (awesome) and Jen got the red velvet cake flavor (also awesome). My company needs to land the Maggie Moo account so we can all get some kind of gift card that entitles us to free moo for life. OK, maybe that wouldn’t be such a good thing. Which reminds me…

Headed up to Rivergate to eat pizza and hang out with Mark. Sadly, the visit was cut a bit short when I looked outside at 10:00 and saw 2 inches of snow. “Holy crap….I gotta go.” I’ve done such a good job of not smashing my car into things, and I’d hate to spoil it now. I almost didn’t even get away from his house, as (surprise!) a PT Cruiser is not exactly a good snow vehicle. I took I65 home, in some retarded hope that the highway would be a little better than Gallatin Rd. Not so much. I still had to do 20 mph all the way home, while having the shit scared out of me by truckers doing 50. Honestly, dicks. You’ve got 4 lanes. Do you REALLY need to pick the one right next to me? Anyway, I got home OK and only had trouble at the last stop sign before my house, where I slid to a 45 degree angle. Sweet.

Went over to jrob’s for pasta, bread, salad and the watching of Soylent Green. Somehow, I’d lived to be 30 without seeing it. Bad American! Dinner was tasty (and guilt-inducingly plentiful) and Soylent Green was good. I question the feasibility of The Scoopers, but hey.

Pretty much stayed inside all day sitting on my ass. In some attempt to make up for eating like a lumberjack for 3 days, I got in some treadmill time and had a big bowl o’ veggies for dinner. Tip: balsamic spray dressing works really well with raw broccoli because of all the little crannies in said broccoli. Just take a Beano first, as raw broccoli, like Wu Tang, ain’t nothin’ to fuck wit. You should only attempt it if you’re sure that you’ll be alone for the rest of the night, if you catch my drift.

I didn’t do goth night this week because I needed a week off and I felt like I should have my wits about me today. In order to make some extra cash for house stuff, I’m doing some light production work for my former employers. Talk about some kismet: I was looking on Craigslist for freelance work, and they just happened to IM me. Sweet!