Last night, I did something I don’t particularly enjoy: I went to Green Hills. For those of you who don’t live in Nashville, Green Hills is the part of Metro Nashville which most closely resembles an upper middle-class suburb. You know how they roll in the burbs: buildings are mandated to be made of brown brick and everything kind of looks the same. The Wal-Mart isn’t a giant blue building. Instead, it’s a brown building that looks just like all of the other brown buildings, with a little white “Wal-Mart” on the front.
Invariably, suburbs with building codes like this are also the places that are overrun with people. The result: nearly rear-ending someone while looking for a store, and a 30-minute turn-around process if you said pass store. To make the journey even more amusing, half of the people on the road are driving their BMWs as though only THEY have somewhere to be. I refer to these people as “rich white people with a huge sense of entitlement.” This whole suburban scenario is why I avoid Green Hills whenever possible. I pretty much only go there for the Film Festival and maybe to do Christmas shopping. The whole place just makes me militant.
I forgot this long enough to go to Whole Foods to meet Lesley and Emily (finally meeting Emily in real life) and, trust me, the hot and cold bars at whole foods are worth the trip. We’re talking about several different flavors of tofu, people. I will totally go to Green Hills if I get tofu. Everybody has a price. We were halfway through our food when some tall, skinny person passed us to go to the bathroom. Then, Emily slid this napkin across the table:
When said tall, skinny person came out…yep. Totally her. So I have a new “best celebrity sighting,” as Nicole Kidman TOTALLY beats Faith Hill and Tim McGraw.
Four-Door Handbasket 