I’ll be honest with you. You should take me with a grain of salt today. I haven’t been sleeping very well, my blood sugar’s a little low, and it’s a slow day at work, which leaves me with a lot of time to obsess over stupid things. I’m working on the blood sugar, eating pizza as I type.
Why the lack of sleep?
Mainly the obsessing.
Never doubt my powers of obsessing. It’s just my brain trying to prepare me for every possible situation, but it’s also my brain dreaming up worst case scenarios until it explodes.
In an attempt to sort through all of this, I thought I would do what I wish I could do. I summoned myself from two months in the future and asked her how things were going to go. It was a pretty productive call.
“Jen’s wedding will go smoothly. You will have fun on the drive with hours and hours of new music, and the car will be fine.”
“Your hours at work will hold out and you will continue to be able to pay bills on time.”
“Those clients are going to love what you designed for them.”
“The road trips for your cousin’s wedding and con training will go smoothly. The car will be fine, though I can understand your concern. We DO drive a PT Cruiser.”
“The Lasik will go smoothly, you will come out better than 20/20, and you will never have to carry glasses in your purse again.”
“You will get some stand-up written. You will win open mic night.”
“You’re not going to need to go back on that Paxil.”
“The inability to sleep will be short-lived. Don’t worry about it.”
OK, fine. I didn’t really summon myself from the future. I wish I could. I could steal her DeLorean. Instead, I’ll tell you what Present Amy says:
“Man up already. Nothing that’s on your plate right now is any bigger or scarier than anything that you have faced before. These are not big, bad wolves! These are just things. Things that require waiting, which I know you hate, but they’re just things. Gather them up on a to-do list and just cross things off. Stop this nonsense. Let’s go.”
It’s so weird. Present Amy can be so damned sensible once she gets some pizza in her.