The Concept: Tiny (preferably hidden) camera and microphone mounted on the dashboard of the car with a wide enough angle to capture driver and passenger side. Video and sound is captured on a flash drive and/or hard drive mounted in the trunk. Tapes can be retrieved on hard disk or transferred via wi-fi to one’s home computer.
The Catch: The camera starts when the ignition starts, without exception. A fresh movie clip is started each time the engine starts, enabling the owner to easily delete boring footage of solo car trips. Why the auto-start? So driver and passenger can forget said camera exists, retaining realistic behavior.
The Muse: Mark and I originally came up with the thought and started adding extra specifics, but I had forgotten about it until last night’s dinner with Jen. Picture it:
Jen was so hungry that she was filled with rage and starting to say things that didn’t make a lot of sense. I was in the same state of mind, exacerbated by what I will now refer to as Ozzy Syndrome*. Our two incoherent asses had to negotiate the traffic flow around Rivergate Mall. You can imagine. If you can’t, here are some clips:
Jen: I’m totally pulling into this lane!
Me: That lady…El Camino lady….totally just gave you a “oh no, she di’int!” look. Like she has any room to talk. Hello, you have 80s hair! And an El Camino! Painted with house paint!
Jen: Fuck you!
Jen: I can just cut through this parking lot….maybe….
Jen: oh, nope…but I can
Both: back to the street!
*Ozzy Syndrome is a condition brought on by working at home by oneself, communicating solely via IM. Symptoms include disjointed sentences that come out in a jumbled pseudo-English, and the ability to go literally days without talking to anyone but the cat (my record is 6 days). Rarer symptoms: unbrushed hair, forgetting how to put on makeup, neighbors who think the subject is unemployed/a stripper (based on subject’s footwear).