Asshole-y-o-e-o….

I am still working off some guilt about flaking on some weekend plans. Truth is, I had hit the Goodwills for 50% off weekend and I was dog tired. And starving. And just not up to a night of doing something unforeseen will someone who is apparently not particularly interested in me…and some friends who really want that person and me to give a shit, when we apparently just don’t. It’s fine.

There’s been a rash of my friends trying to hook me up with people. I don’t know if this is brought on by my age, their thoughtfulness, or their desire to see me not hang out with my ex. At any rate, could we all just agree to call off the dogs on this one? Can you not just let me be single? Are you in cahoots with my shrink? I’m just really busy. Each day brings a new, long “to-do” list. Each day, I don’t get through the list. Did I mention that I’m also trying to get in some decent treadmill time? And sleep? And keep my standing engagements with friends?

I will also now be MOWING a yard from here on out. I hit critical mass with Lawn Dude. I was finally having time to think about what I was paying him and to feel like a sucka for it. I realized that I could get an old-school push reel mower and mow at night, in the quiet, in a sars mask. I was tired of him calling me to ask for advances. It was too much drama, and too much money. So there’s one more thing I have to do.

I did finally get some pictures hung today. I got the frames (SIX 12X16s) 50% off at Hobby Lobby, but having mats cut would have cost 50 bucks so I had to do them myself (thanks, art school). Then, in some kind of weird ballsiness test, I decided to hang them in a 3X2 grid. Strangely, the math on the grid worked out and I only had to redo one nail (which is why you nail pictures BEFORE you spackle and paint). Thus, visitors to my house are now greeted with a giant effing wall of Gothic Beauty magazines when they walk into the netherworld. Next project: buying and cutting fancy moulding to make picture frames for 4 posters. I’m about to break in the mitre box. Watch out.

This all reminds me: don’t buy frames at Hobby Lobby expecting to have them properly wrapped in paper. Mouth breathers. Ask Jen to tell you the story.

It’s 11:00, and that means it’s time for bedtime Vodka. Tonight: vodka and berry blue Kool-Aid. 30 is the new 15! Let’s braid each others’ hair and listen to Fall Out Boy! Oh, wait…

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