Hooker Stole My Job, But I Love Her

Thanks to the wonders of tiVo and my new at-home working situation, I recently listened to a day-long marathon of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. I have come to the following conclusions:

  1. I love Kathy Griffin even more than I thought.
  2. I love her friends, too. We both have a taste for strong women who don’t give a crap about what anybody thinks of them. Besides, who wouldn’t want to be friends with Margaret Cho? Hello?
  3. I seriously need to make more headway on the road to becoming a gay icon.

I don’t know if the Bravo show spawn Kathy’s icon status, or if her icon status landed her on Bravo (the official UNofficial gay channel), but I do know this: when Kathy shows up at an event, the gays love her. WTF? How do I get this?

I have recently interrogated Wendy on this subject, and she says that maybe I should go to more functions where there are gay dudes. Ideally, I would be asking a gay dude why gay dudes don’t take to me, but…well, I’d have to have a gay dude on hand, wouldn’t I? I love the lesbians, but let’s face it: lesbians don’t become drag queens. It’s not the same. Same thing for Jen…she loves glitter and shiny things, but I should still have at least one drag queen friend.

A girl needs to have at least one friend who can show her how to hook a fake bird to her head in such a way that she can still dance without said bird getting all crooked.

In the meantime, maybe I should consider stalking Kathy Griffin. She and I really need to go to Performance and buy masks. And then wear them to Chili’s and get anonymously wasted on bright blue drinks.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s