Casa De Evil, Part the Second

Readers, I’ve had another contract go through. Let’s not excited; no excitement until after the inspection, which won’t be happening for about a week. There’s some stuff that needs to be done before we bug the inspector (replacing a door and the a/c unit). This house isn’t as sexy on the inside; it’s boob lights as far as the eye can see and there are no doorknobs, air vent covers, or light switch plates because the renovators got bored and stopped before finishing the detail work. This is fine by me because they’re gonna give me some money for these things and…well, it’s an opportunity to shop. Be afraid, readers. I am so totally not afraid to bust out some of THIS:

YEAH! Except I would pick the antique pewter finish. Or maybe not. Wrought bronze does have a certain Steampunkish quality. You know you can get a black porcelain knob? Or cobalt blue? Fuckin’ A! Don’t even get me started on the light switch plates. I’m not saying that I’m gonna do it, but it’s nice to know that I could get a pewter plate that has jewels and fairies embedded in it. Not gonna do it, but it’s nice to know it’s there. What WOULD I do? Well…yeah. Maybe going with bronze would make it less old ladyish? But would that mess up my design theme? Does “Victorian Whorehouse” count as a design theme?

If all this weren’t enough to knock the testicles right off any dude who dares set foot in my house, maybe we should talk about the dressing chamber. I had some pause about the small closets in House 2, until I had an epiphany: the small bedroom shall not be the music room. The piano shall go in the bedroom (as God intended), and clothing, makeup, shoes and all other sartorial whatnots shall go in bedroom 3. Buying a settee and pretending to be Mariah Carey? Optional.

But I’m still not as crazy as The California Milk Processor Board.

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