Casa De Evil = perhaps not.

See, readers? This is why we don’t get excited. The House, which was supposed to have been inspected not only by the buyers who preceeded me but also by the sellers post-renovation…failed. Hard. I believe the words that the inspector used were “run like hell.” Now we’re only dealing with a question of whether or not to accuse the sellers of intentionally not telling the truth and making them pay for this inspection, which may have been the most costly and complete wank for which I have ever paid 250 dollars (my ill-fated battle with Sprint was HALF that). There is no way this house ever passed a crawlspace inspection. There is no way they missed the fire damage in the attic. These are the same people who said that they’d installed a sump pump. Does “stick it in a side-turned bucket” sound like an installation to you? Me neither.

They put a Chanel suit on a crackwhore and tried to tell me it was Jackie Kennedy.

Did I mention that the soil in the back yard is graded so that water runs TOWARD the house rather than away? Or the termite damge in the floor joists? Or the faulty wiring in the attic? Really, tell me when you’d like me to stop, because I have 41 pages. FORTY-ONE. I’ve also got a suspicion that they only put a deck on the back to cover the portal to hell that is probably underneath.

They have wasted my time, my real estate agent’s time, my loan broker’s time, my parents’ time, and my house inspector’s time. They have lied and then said something like, “oh, yeah….we said we were WORKING on that, not that it was done,” when caught. They have pissed me off, told half-truths, and wasted 250 dollars of my money. They have broken my heart. Twice.

May the dogs of karma hunt them down and place termites in their houses.
May they lie awake at night thinking about what they’ve done.
May they develop male pattern baldness.

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