Weekend: Boozetastic Birthday

Jen and I meet up for dinner at the new Calypso Cafe in East Nashville. Despite feeling that I wasn’t nearly hip enough to be there (seriously, Eastside, what’s WITH your hair?), I thoroughly enjoyed my beans & three and the company of The Jen. After dinner, we hit the beauty supply and had the intention to swing by Naughty By Nature to peruse their selection of leather, studded things. Sadly, Naughty By Nature closed down, so we went to the Jenna’s Toy Box next door.

Hav you ever seen someone smoking meth or crack on tv and thought, “where does one even GET a crack pipe?” Well, Jenna’s Toy Box sells them. I’m not talking about “tobacco” pipes. I’m talking about glass tubes with glass bulbs on the end. Craaaaack pipe. Since Jen and I have a disturbing tendency to end up at a porn store after eating dinner, we’ve decided that we’re going to do a photo series where we’re standing in front of various porn stores…preferably eating ice cream cones.

Pizza and Peeps (marshmallow and human) at Mark’s house, followed by the weekly Krogering. I don’t know what I was doing last week, but somehow almost none of the food that I bought got eaten. Thus, this week’s Kroger trip resulted in the purchase of cereal, pickles, and 3 boxes of sugar-free Jello.

Looked at 4.5 houses. The first one was the home of some renter who apparently hadn’t been notified that we were coming, and he was pissed. I figured that he was pissed because the house was filthy or something, but no. He was pissed because something illegal was probably going on in there. Why? There were four pitbulls (all of whom were separated from each other with cages) and a strong smell of air freshener. You and I both now that there are only 2 reasons that a single guy would own/use air freshener, and…well, I didn’t smell poo. Needless to say, that was not exactly the best showcase for that house. Scary.

There were a couple more typically sketchy houses, one that may have been cute (I couldn’t concentrate because the alarm was going off the whole time), and one that we couldn’t get into. We’re going to go back on Tuesday and see those again. Yes, readers, I feel kind of stupid for continuing to look at houses given the situation at work. But I was able to make my current rent back when I was broke from working at Vandy. I swear, it’ll be OK…and if it’s not OK, I can always do more freelancing or something. Or go work at Starbucks.

Saturday night, it was back to Calypso for Jen’s birthday dinner and then to Red Door for drinks. Well, there was a slight detour to Rivergate to go to Zen. We arrived there to be told that we needed to “go home and spruce up” because half of us were violating the dress code (t-shirts, hoodies, sneakers). Excuse me? Your bar is in RIVERGATE. Well, ok, says the manager as we were walking away, you can come in. We just need to look through your purse and frisk you. Excuse me? Your bar is in RIVERGATE. I didn’t want to be The Bitch Who Ruins It For Everyone, so I was going to go ahead and let Giant Sweatpants Lesbian frisk me. Oh, but wait! There’s a 10-dollar cover. What?

That was pretty much it. Manager Guy said that we wouldn’t have to pay the cover when we all started walking away, but by that time we were all feeling very “fuck you” about the whole thing. “You know what? I no longer want to give these people my money. Fuck this.” So, we went to Red Door and had a lovely time.

Washed all of the bed linens and then headed out to 80’s goth night for dancing and watching Jen fully enjoy her new 21-ness. It was pretty much the usual, and you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Fang Guy dance to “When Doves Cry” with no sense of irony.

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