Crimes Against God

There is a piece of cake in the office fridge. Said cake has been there for a week, waiting for someone to eat it. I was trying to not be a dick and spirit the thing away last weekend, but apparently no one wanted it. Now it’s stale, unloved, needing to be thrown away.

Throwing cake away. This should be illegal.

It’s God’s perfect food! Fluffy, tasty moistness covered in icing so thick with lard and sugar that it leaves an oily film on the top of your mouth! How could someone not want to eat this? I don’t understand. No one should ever throw away cake icing.

If you don’t want the flower, don’t leave it languishing on your plate
If you don’t want the flower, don’t take the flower.
If you don’t want the flower, give it to meeeeeee.

That is all.